Day 11: When Jake and the Minions Moved In

#day11 of #30days of #radicalaccountability complete.

How is it possible that my babies, whom Timehop proves to me photographically were still in my belly 3 years ago at this time, are going to be in Big Boy Underwear Because Diapers Are For Babies starting tomorrow? The moment my kiddos emerged from the womb, I got what my mom meant when she said I’d always be her baby. But now I really get it. It is unfathomable to me that these babies of mine are actually little PEOPLE who get annoyed when I call them “baby” as a term of endearment, because, “I not a baby. I big. I a BOY.” Like really, how did this HAPPEN?

To make it weirder and more surreal, I spent an hour today sharing baby items and twin pregnancy, labor, delivery, and breastfeeding info and experiences with an expectant twin mom and dad whose due days is just a week before the boys were due. Meanwhile, my little PEOPLE who just got back from buying Big Boy Underwear were wandering around talking about how diapers are for babies.

I shared a lot of wisdom that other twin parents and experienced nursers had given me, but I omitted one piece, one I knew I didn’t fully appreciate when I was pregnant but started to around when the boys hit 4 months:

The days are long, but the years are short.

Right now, when I’m flooded with memories of the final weeks of my pregnancy 3 years ago and the final weeks in our old house in Virginia just 2 years ago, I’m astonished by how short the years really are.

So much of the boys’ first year is a blur of screaming and poop and thrush and sleeplessness and loneliness. So much. It was crushingly overwhelming. And at the same time, it was exhilarating, joyful, empowering, and astonishing. And I’m so very glad I took so many pictures and videos, because I think I missed a lot of the astonishment of the day to day because I was just putting one foot in front of the other. I had these magical moments every day, and I lived for them. But at times it’s hard to remember them. I struggle to remember who rolled over first, who cut the first tooth, whose first word was which. I recorded it, Facebooked it, photographed it — and when I see it it brings the memory back. But if I didn’t have those cues, I don’t know if I could call the memories up in my mind. Is that weird?

It’s part of why I miss blogging so much when I don’t do it, and why I wanted to take on NaBloPoMo this year. Blogging forces me to be mindful. I may spend days, like yesterday, putting one foot in front of the other and just surviving, but blogging forces me to reflect on that, to find the meaning in it, to make it matter…instead of just letting it fade into a blur.

I don’t want to look back on my kids lives — on my own life — and feel like I missed it. I don’t want to get so caught up in the daily grind that I forget to notice the little things, to appreciate the beauty in the stolen moments, the ones that are so easy to overlook when you’re running late and someone hit your left shoe and the dog is eating somebody’s forgotten yogurt on the ottoman. I want to fix in my mind the pride and excitement in my boys’ faces when they brought home their Big Boy Underwear that they picked out by themselves because they are Big Boys Who Wear Underwear Now. Because this. This is the stuff that matters.

Today’s Rundown

• Shakes: 1 down, 1 to go
• Tablets: Two of 3 sets, but extra immunity support so it kind of evens out?
• Tea: Excessive
• Protein: Not enough
• Carbs: Mmmm, nothing says “I have a cold” like comfort carbs
• Water: I was too busy guzzling hot tea to drink enough water today. I’m okay with that
• Workouts: Ran 4 miles, walked half, co-taught an hour-long FitDance class
• Chores: About to fold 2 loads of laundry while watching Freaks and Geeks on Netflix, otherwise caught up
• Sleep: Yes, please!

Follow my #30day journey of #radicalaccountability here at Amateur Parenting and through my nutrition and lifestyle journal on Instagram. Want to join me? Add these hashtags — #30days #radicalaccountability #coachkristen #dayX – to your social media posts and let’s do this together.

Find me on Instagram as @FLFitMom