Things You Shouldn’t Say to a New Mom of Twins

I’m still controlled by post-partum hormones. Consider yourself warned.

  • My kids are only 18 months apart, so it’s kind of like having twins. No, no it isn’t. It’s like having two kids 18 months apart.
  • My new baby only sleeps 3 hours between feedings; I’m exhausted. Mine too. But when my baby sleeps, my other baby is awake. You think you’re exhausted?
  • You’ve got your hands full! Gee, ya think? Please try something more original.
  • Don’t worry, you’ll lose that weight soon. Um, I’ve already lost over 40 lbs and I’m 20+ lbs under my pre-pregnancy weight. Thanks for making me feel even better about my post-baby body than I already do.
  • You’re breastfeeding? Both of them? Why? Well, I couldn’t decide which one I loved best, so I figured I’d have to provide nature’s perfect nutrition for both of them until I figure it out.Two babies, two boobs — do the math.
  • Got ’em both out of the way in one shot, huh? Yeah, just another box to check on my to-do list. Thanks.
  • Do they cry? No, we had them de-barked.
  • Were they natural? Nope, totally synthetic. They’re waterproof and everything.
  • Do twins run in your family? They do now!
  • I can’t imagine dealing with two babies at one time. Believe me, neither can I. I’m not very good at it. Please stop reminding me.
  • I always wanted twins. Want to borrow mine? ‘Cause I could use a nap.
  • Double trouble! You want trouble? Keep saying mean crap about my kids.

About Kristen King

Kristen King (aka, Mommy-in-Training) lives at 10,200 feet in Leadville, Colorado, where she is a speaker, coach, and consultant. She and her husband, Jesse (aka, Daddy-in-Training) have fraternal twins born in December 2011, two dogs, and two cats. They are both endurance athletes. Learn more and meet the rest of the AmateurParenting.com team on our About page. Learn more about Kristen at KristenKing.com.

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