Today, in a fit of domesticity, I decided to make French toast for my visiting father. I pulled out the griddle and got it nice and hot. Then I put the French toast on to cook and turn that gorgeous brown that means it’s just perfect. Then I jumped back so hard and fast I almost fell over, because I burned my stomach on the edge of the pan.
Yes, you read that right. My stomach is so huge that I cannot stand in a normal position in front of the stove without burning myself. I also can’t reach the drinking water spout on the sink without turning sideways because my stomach is in the way.
I had started to get accustomed to the new weight in front, but now the babies are growing so fast that I’m running into stuff every day. Doorways, chairs, the shower door, other people, you name it. I can’t even lean forward to put on mascara without my glasses on because no matter how I contort, I can’t get close enough to the mirror to see!
Oh, and forget getting out of the bathtub unaided. I think we may need to invest in one of those crane sling things they use to move whales from one tank to another. Maybe in an extra-large size…