Are we too busy to improve? That’s the subject line of an email I got at work today. It had nothing to do with parenting, but everything to do with everything if you ask me. The focus was on continuously improving business operations amid keeping the lights on and how hard that is. It didn’t even really apply to me. But I couldn’t stop reading that subject line over and over again. Are we too busy to improve? Are we too busy with every day life to do better, to do more, to even make goals much less work toward them?
I have had a few long weeks lately, where different parts of my life converged at all needed a higher-than-usual level of attention and engagement at the same time, leaving me with little to spare in terms of energy, focus, motivation, and empathy. I usually do a pretty good job of zooming in on the joys in my life, of trying to memorize the beautiful little moments in each day. But it’s been more of a challenge than usual for a little while now. And as things ease up, I can see this in retrospect. While I was going through the most overwhelming part, though, I couldn’t see that. All I saw was exhaustion. All I saw was the to-do list that wouldn’t end. All I saw was the clock zooming forward while one kid pitched a fit and the other insisted on putting both legs in the same leg of his shorts three times in a row before he would let me do it for him and oh-my-god-we’re-going-t0-miss-the-daycare-dropoff-deadline. All I saw was the grind. All I saw was busy-ness.
My situation is somewhat unique, I know. I work full time, but I do it from home. I have a certain degree of flexibility that a lot of full-time working moms don’t have. This setup definitely makes my life easier. And I still get overwhelmed and trapped in the hamster-wheel mentality of just run-run-running around, juggle-juggle-juggling all the balls, and spin-spin-spinning the plates so nothing hits the ground and the days just blend into this long line of blurry experiences that I just kind of check out of. I don’t know how moms who have to leave the house for 8-10 hours every day do it. I guess it doesn’t really matter HOW because they just DO because it is what it is. And they make it work. And if I had to do that I would make it work, too, but I’m glad I don’t have to.
When I saw that subject line, it got me thinking: Am I too busy to improve? Am I too busy to constantly strive for better in my own life? Am I too busy to make sure I’m doing right by my family? Am I too busy to set an example of balance and compassion and love? Am I too busy to make sure I am creating the life I want for my kids and family? And if the answer to any of those is yes, what do I do about it?
Generally, I think we’re doing okay. But it occurred to me how easily the crazed-daily-grind thing can sneak up. I spend years just making it through days, and when we made our big life change to come to Florida last year ending that practice was a big motivator for us. How do YOU protect against being too busy? And what do you do when it catches you by surprise?