…And Then He Crammed a Shoe in My Bra

Emmett and my boobs have a love-hate relationship these days. He was still breastfeeding pretty well in December, but somewhere between moving into our new place and learning how to walk and, thus, run away from me because it’s funny, he seems to have forgotten now to nurse. That would be no problem if he didn’t still WANT to nurse.

How can I tell?

  • He cries and frantically lifts my shirt while signing “milk.”
  • He randomly flings himself into my chest while thrusting his arms down the neck of my shirt.
  • He gets super excited and runs over to me if I’m not wearing a shirt, if I remove a layer, if I undo a button.
  • He flips out when he can’t get my bra off.

He kind of reminds me of his father, actually.

When I offer him boobs, he gets excited and the quickly overwhelmed. He opens his mouth and dives in like a little piranha, but then pops off instantly, sometimes without even latching.

About a month ago, he got his leg stuck in one of the baby gates. After we got him out, he was inconsolable even though he was obviously fine. When I asked if he wanted boobie, he immediately quieted and lunged for my chest, and then proceeded to actually nurse for the first time in over 6 weeks, latching and nursing on both sides multiple times for about 10 minutes.

Since then, he continues his attempts at disrobing me from the waist up, but then when I offer him the breast he either puts his mouth on for a nanosecond and then takes off, or he hits my chest, or he shoves a toy in the cup of my bra and then runs away.

Interestingly, Miles, my non-nurser since 3 months old, has started showing interest and actually puts his mouth on the breast for the first time in 13 months, but doesn’t have an inkling what to do even if I express milk by hand. Which, incidentally, I can still do with little to no effort despite the fact that no one has actually nursed in months and I stopped responding to the pump.

I’m not ready to be done yet, so I won’t refuse either of them if they ask for boob. I know of toddlers who started nursing for the first time at age 2 or 3. It could happen. In the meantime, I’m comfortable with the fact that my breasts give them comfort, even if it’s sometimes in weird ways. Like when they cram Legos down my shirt…

2 thoughts on “…And Then He Crammed a Shoe in My Bra

  1. Sara

    The twins self-weaned around 17 months – they were too busy and too competitive about nursing, so it just happened and it was fine. But around 28 months my daughter developed an obsession with my boobs and would insist on “nursing” – shoving her face into my chest, pulling down my shirt, etc. She had no concept of how to actually do it anymore, but that phase still lasted almost a year. Silly kids! Even now at 5, she will cuddle up to me and try to cup my breast when sleeping – guess that sense of comfort really stays with them.

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