At 7:15 Monday morning, I left my house for my first-ever week-long work trip, and the longest I have been away from the boys since their birth. It’s horrible. I miss them so much that it literally hurts. I physically ache for them. I feel like I am missing a limb and there is phantom pain where it once was.
I desperately needed a break. After months of full-time mommy duty AND full-time employee duty AND packing for our upcoming move from Virginia to Florida while Daddy-in-Training has been working out of state 4-5 days (and nights) out of every week, I was exhausted and emotionally drained. The prospect of 4 straight nights of uninterrupted sleep and 5 straight days of taking care of only myself sounded like heaven. The reality doesn’t exactly measure up.
I nursed Emmett through Sunday night into early Monday morning, and woke him for a final dream-nurse before I left for the airport. I got to cuddle both boys before leaving, and SuperSitter sent me a pic before I boarded the plane. So far, so good. Then I had to pump on the plane, which was awkward because I don’t use my manual pump very frequently and the regional plane was super tiny and cramped, and I was basically sitting in the laps of the people on either side of me so it was extremely uncomfortable to find the right angle. And then I had to do it on my equally tiny connecting flight, too. My shoulders hurt the rest of the day. Fortunately after I landed I was able to pump right away at my office using my hospital-grade breast pump and all was right with the world again. The excitement of arriving took my mind off the fact that I missed my boys so much — and the fact that all of my diligent pumping had yet to yield even 3 ounces in total.
Aside: I would really appreciate it if people — well meaning though they most certainly are — would stop suggesting that I pump in the bathroom. It definitely would not be “more comfortable.” Don’t you know what people do in there? Also, it’s cold. But you can absolutely go in there while I pump. That won’t bother me a bit.
Monday night, I got several bedtime photos and a bedtime video, which made me cry. It took me hours to fall asleep. I woke up several times overnight, startled awake by sounds that I wished were my boys. I finally hit 6 cumulative ounces for the entire trip to that point about halfway through the day on Tuesday. Did I mention how much I hate pumping? When I talked to Daddy-in-Training on the phone around nap time, I could hear Miles crying in the background while SuperSitter tried to get him to sleep.
Lots more pumping all day Tuesday (with virtually nothing to show for it — one session yielded a measly half ounce from both breasts combined), another crappy night of sleep, and lots more missing my babies. As much as I am loving working side by side with my colleagues, Friday night can’t get here fast enough.
What are your tips for dealing with homesickness when you’re on the road for work? Leave a comment.
This post is just one installment of Working Mom Wednesday. Each week, we discuss another aspect of the challenge and reward of balancing the roles of employee and mommy. Want to request a post on a specific working mom issue? Contact us with your idea!