Last week was rough, but I’m feeling a little perkier today. Psychologically, anyway. Physically I’m still completely wiped out, but I don’t feel like I’m perpetually on the verge of tears as I have been for the last few weeks.
This past weekend was my hometown baby shower, and I didn’t know how much I needed to celebrate this pregnancy until it happened. After trying to get pregnant for so long and then losing two babies last year, this successful pregnancy should have been a cause for major joy and jubilation — and for the first few weeks it was. But when I got sick I lost that joy in lieu of simply surviving my babies’ gestation. This weekend, the joy was in full force.
My mother put together an amazing shower with a guest list that included family members and close friends, friends of my mom, people from work, and even my second- and fifth-grade teachers. It was such a delight to be fussed over and have my belly rubbed and hear the squeals of excitement. It was so fun to be showered and to feel normal and beautiful for a day at a party in a party dress instead of feeling like a pathetic patient on the couch in pajamas.
I slept until 10 the next day and then went back to bed at noon for a 4-hour nap. And I’m still completely exhausted even though it was 3 days ago. But I feel like more of a mother-to-be and less of a complete mess. I feel supported and refreshed. And I feel incredibly lucky that I get to do it all again in 2 weeks at my Virginia shower. This is exactly what I need right now.
I feel like I’m going to make it.