(www.meowbarkblog.com) — Oh boy, oh boy, the dogs learned a new trick! It’s called “jump up on the counter and eat stuff they have no business eating and then shred the evidence all over the house so no one can prove nuttin’.” It’s totally precious. Except for NOT.
About two weeks ago, I came home from the post office and everything seemed normal. Until I went to make lunch and couldn’t find the baguette I had thought was on the kitchen counter. I called my husband at work.
“Did you take the baguette to work with you?”
“Uh, no, why?” he asked, like that wasn’t a perfectly reasonable question.
“I can’t fi– oh my God, is that part of a PANERA BAG????”
“What are you talking about?”
“Murphy just rolled over and there is part of a Panera bag under him on the dog bed.” I later found small pieces of it in about six other locations. But not nearly enough to make a whole bag. Hmm.
“Maybe you should talk to him about the baguette.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
In the week or so that followed, the dogs consumed:
- Half a pan of brownies
- A box of Krispy Kreme donuts
- A bag of single-serve coffee filters
- A raw, unwashed sweet potato
- Part of a grilled cheese sandwich
- Several paper plates and napkins
- Eight (8!!!!!) empty cardboard boxes
- A sheaf of brochures from my husband’s old company
And those are just the items we found evidence of. I shudder to think what may have gone missing without our noticing yet.
At first we thought it was Ty (he HAS been mighty pushy when I open the fridge lately), but based on last night and this morning, we’re pretty sure it’s Murphy. You see, Murphy has food allergies. Wheat, corn, beef, things normal dogs can eat. We switched him to food that doesn’t contain those things and limited his treat intake, and his dandruff and horrible stomach rash went away.
So when his rash came back in one small spot on his inner thigh (is that what you call it on a dog?) a few days ago and then spread with a vengeance I’ve never seen to the rest of his stomach last night, I took him to the vet right away. Turns out he has a staph infection (!!!) because he licked the living daylights out of it over the last few days, unbeknownst to me. The diagnosis? “Must be the stolen food,” the vet said solemnly. She did not add, “You neglectful dog-mother, you,” though I suspect from her expression that she was thinking it.
Now, not only do we have to change his TREATS to make extra sure he’s not consuming any allergens whatsoever and stop giving him people food entirely (what, you do it too, shut up), we can’t leave anything edible (or inedible, for that matter) on our counters or tables, lest he scarf them down.
It’s kind of like childproofing, except your toddler has the reach of a six-foot-tall adult and will not only mouth but actually consume whatever he can acquire.
Why did he have to finally realize just how tall he is???
Previous episodes of “Things Murphy Destroyed or Ate”:
Contents Copyright © 2008 Kristen King
New meow/bark/blog p Zen and the Art of Counter-Surfing: (www.meowbarkblog.com) &.. http://tinyurl.com/6ewu7u
@amyderby Thank YOU for a fantastic post! The brood is bratty, but good. Troublemakers: http://tinyurl.com/6ewu7u
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