Mastiff Mayhem — Today’s Episode of “Things Murphy Destroyed or Ate”: Prescription Drugs

When Jesse started freaking out, I didn’t know what was going on. “Kristen, come here RIGHT NOW!” he hollered from the kitchen. I dropped everything and ran to him, but skidded to a stop when I saw Murphy lying on the floor looking googly-eyed and Jesse whitefaced, holding an empty, chewed-up up prescription bottle with no label.

“What was in this bottle?” he asked.

I didn’t know. We dug through cabinets and drawers and wracked our brains, and couldn’t come up with a single prescription that wasn’t accounted for. But we had proof that one was missing. We called the vet immediately and told them what happened, but since we didn’t know what he’d consumed, they didn’t have specific protocol for us. The pharmacy and our doctors’ offices didn’t open for 2 more hours, so we couldn’t get our list of recent prescriptions and figure out what he’d eaten until they were answering the phones. Our only option was to induce vomiting.

We would do this, the vet tech told us, by forcing hydrogen peroxide down Murphy’s throat with a turkey baster. Easier said than done, but highly effective. About 5 minutes after we dosed him, he started puking like crazy. But no pills came up — only parts of the prescription label that were completely illegible.

Hours later, we finally narrowed it down: He’d eaten about 30 tablets of Xanax. The vet told us to call Animal Poison Control, which we did. After running calculations based on Murphy’s weight and the total maximum dosage that could have been in the bottle, the vet assured us that he’d be fine, just a little loopy. Apparently, Xanax is even used to treat dogs with serious separation anxiety, so it wasn’t that big a deal.

He was stupid and uncoordinated for a while, but mostly sleepy, and seems no worse for the wear.

We, on the other hand, have been traumatized thoroughly. And we have yet to figure out how he got the bottle in the first place.

The mind boggles.

Contents Copyright © 2007 Kristen King