Amateur Parenting – Page 6 – Just Admit It: You Have No Idea What You're Doing Either

Day 7: Party Rockers in the House Tonight

Kristen King November 7, 2014 No Comments

Today was kind of an emotional mixed bag.

I slept really poorly last night, mulling over a conflict with an old friend that’s been really eating me up since yesterday evening. But even though I didn’t get much sleep and I woke up still feeling kinda grumpy and out of sorts, I had a relatively great morning with the kids. Not as enthusiastic as I would have liked, but I didn’t yell or get frustrated despite several opportunities to flip out. We even built an enormous tower with all the Legos — not pictured, because when I went to grab my phone, they destroyed the whole thing. Womp womp. But they had so much fun doing it, I couldn’t even really be annoyed. And they gave me the perfect opportunity to dig all of the Legos out of random hiding places all over the house so we could make the biggest. castle. ever.

My work day moved pretty quickly, spurred on by copious amounts of tea, a delicious strawberry shake, more tuna than I could have eaten in two lunches (so tomorrow’s lunch is ready to go!), and an unexpected visit from Jesse’s aunt and uncle who are in town from Virginia because they are closing next week on a house approximately 4 miles from us. Before I knew it, it was time to get ready for our friends’ wedding.

#day7 of #30days of #radicalaccountabiilty complete

Rather inconveniently, I am also completely out of conditioner, and I had just used the last of the soap. I was starting to think pants looked like an appealing option for an afternoon wedding when my eyes landed on the fuzzy outline of the kids’ Mr. Bubble “foam soap,” which is basically overpriced shaving cream with a cartoon character on the can, also known as The Best Part of Bathtime. Don’t you dare tell my kids I used the coveted Mr. Bubble to shave. Especially since I will never, EVER, do that again. Yikes.

Somehow, amid erecting massive Lego towers, attending multiple work meetings, NOT cutting my right leg off, and heading to the ceremony, I managed to process the conflict with my friend and say my piece, which I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to find the words to do. Regardless of what happens next, I’m proud of myself for laying it all out there in a difficult conversation, and not sweeping things under the rug as I have tended to do in the past. Being radically accountable includes being accountable for my own emotions and addressing problems instead of ignoring them. I know I didn’t handle it perfectly, but hey, progress. PROGRESS. And however imperfectly, I still handled it. I handled it instead of ignoring it or letting it fester or making excuses for myself or her.

And then I danced it out at the wedding, which was slightly awkward because it was a small group and, well, I’m a slightly awkward dancer, which is more noticeable when I’m one of like three people dancing. But when I hear a beat, I just gotta move! Much like my kids, who have in the last 3 weeks or so become completely incapable of standing still when they hear a song — any song, even a cell phone ringer. The ceremony was beautiful, the reception even more so, and the music totally danceable. I totally earned my seconds from the delicious buffet.

After the wedding, we caught the tail end of an awesome private mentoring session with two of our favorite long-time Herbalifers and got to hang with our fantastic team, which was exactly the right environment at the right time.

I’m wrapping up with a way-too-late bedtime but a supremely satisfying day that was nutritionally on target and highly productive. My laundry is way behind but other than that I’m mostly on target. Having to be publicly accountable for the stuff I DIDN’T do each night is a big motivator to get through my to-do list, clean out my inbox, and make sure I get in all of my essentials nutrition-wise. Getting it all done means no excuses at the end of the day, which means better sleep (when I’m not emotionally overwrought), which means better days, which means more and more forward momentum. Kinda funny how that works, isn’t it?

On the docket for the weekend:

My first mommy-stroller run-walk meetup at 10 a.m. Saturday morning for National Stroller Run Day (#strollerrun14)
A sip-and-see baby shower of sorts Saturday afternoon, wherein we drink wine and eat hors d’oeuvres while ooing and ahhing over a friend’s new baby (awesome plan for a second child when you don’t really need anything but everyone wants to meet your little bundle and celebrate with you!)
Date night in on Saturday night, courtesy of a Redbox promo code and a Ruby Tuesday coupon
My final “long run” of 6 miles before next week’s (!!!) half-marathon
A family trip to the Florida aquarium with friends

Follow my #30day journey of #radicalaccountability here at Amateur Parenting and through my nutrition and lifestyle journal on Instagram. Want to join me? Add these hashtags — #30days #radicalaccountability #coachkristen #dayX – to your social media posts and let’s do this together.

Find me on Instagram as @FLFitMom

Day 6: Good Luck Finding a Pool Noodle the Week After Halloween

Kristen King November 6, 2014 No Comments

#day6 of #30days of #radicalaccountability complete

We recently obtained two kayaks. Wait. That sounds like we stole them. We did not in fact steal them. Jesse traded work for partial payment in the form of kayaks. Any any rate, we have these kayaks. They are lying on the ground in our yard. Behind our big fence. Protected by our big dog. So don’t steal my kayaks. AT ANY RATE, they are on the ground, and Jesse asked me to stop on my way home from FitDance to get two pool noodles for them, presumably to fashion a kayak rest of sorts.

So I walked into the Dollar Store, where they had scads and scads of pool noodles a mere week ago, and Christmas threw up on me. Not only were there no pool noodles, but there was not even any evidence that Halloween was like 5 days ago. So we are pool noodle less. In Florida. Where it’s still 80 and warm enough to swim. But if you need 87,000 inexpensive candy canes RIGHT NOW, you’re covered.

I do not need any candy canes, though, because today I ate two pieces of that homemade pumpkin pie I was raving about yesterday. On my two-workout days, I am a bottomless pit and no amount of protein, carbs, protein-carb combos, or good common sense can stop me from eating everything in sight, including two slices of pie. I get rungry, and if you don’t want to get hurt, you should keep your hands away from my mouth. I mean, you should probably do that anyway because ew, germs. But I digress. The only thing I feel bad about in this situation is that I don’t even feel bad about eating two pieces of pie. They were delicious. They were radically, accountably delicious, which sounds like the terrible tagline for a sugary breakfast cereal’s ad campaign in the 1980s, but now we’re getting off topic. Because, you know, this post is already so focused you could even tell that was another digression.

ANYWAY. Today was a good day. I did some personal development before bed last night and woke up still thinking about it. I dragged myself out of my cozy cocoon when the alarm went off and managed to get up, dressed, and out the door ahead of the rest of my running buddies. I even managed to get to the park far enough in advance of everyone else to do a lap before they arrived and listen to some more personal development.

Which was a good thing, because today’s run was ROUGH and if I hadn’t had that positive start, I think I would have bailed. I got my second-ever stitch in my entire almost-4-months-of-training less than a mile into my 4-mile run, and I could not manage to shake it. And my knees hurt. No idea what the heck happened, unless my body was simply revolting over having to get out of bed. I guess that’s entirely possible. I ended up sending my two runner friends ahead of me to keep moving and double back for me so I could work out the pain, and I run-walked the entire rest of the time. ROUGH.

I kept hearing these punishing thoughts in my head — “You’re supposed to be such a great runner. What is wrong with you?” “This is your second crummy run in a row of your first two with a new running friend. She’s not going to want to run with you anymore.” “How are you doing to run 13.1 miles in less than 2 weeks when you can’t even handle a mile?” — and though I remember them vividly, I was able to stop them, to keep going, to reassure myself that I am a real runner, I am fit, I am athletic, I can do this, and one bad run doesn’t mean anything.

This is the most active I have ever been over the longest period of time I have ever been active in my life, so it’s an interesting experience to see what my body reacts to. I feel like a walking science experiment right now. I ran 11 miles this weekend with no problem, but today 6 laps at the park was torture. I think it’s partly hormones, partly temperature, and partly stuff I did in the last 24 hours. Last night’s DivaFit class was intense, and I think my muscles just got mad at me. So, definitely going to focus on tuning into my body a little earlier and see if that helps.

I’ll be heading to bed tonight pretty much right on target with calories and protein, and a little low on water — but a great day overall. Focus areas for tomorrow: More water, listening closely to my muscles and joints, and spending some extra time in the morning with the kiddos. We’re heading to a wedding and going straight from there to a training, so tomorrow night’s blog post is going to take some commitment, but IT’S HAPPENING.

On day 6, I’m starting to feel like I’m finding my groove. And I’m liking it.

Find me on Instagram as @FLFitMom

Day 5: “And That Was When the Aliens Landed”

Kristen King November 5, 2014 No Comments

#day5 of #30days of #radicalaccountability complete

I kind of completely love the TimeHop app, and in November I kind of completely love it for two reasons:

Reading all of my remarks about NaNoWriMo from 5 years ago is hilarious, hence the title of this blog post.
Watching my ever-growing pregnant belly swell to epic proportions in the countdown to my little guys’ birth-day 3 years ago is astonishing, fascinating, and heartwarming.

I still cannot get my head around the fact that these two hilarious, amazing, infuriating, exhilarating little people grew in and then emerged from my body. So expect me to get sappier as the month goes on. And speaking of which, tonight I got really emotional at DivaFit when I shared my journey of fertility challenges and pregnancy loss with a group of ladies who were brave enough to try my class. It was is really bizarre to think that 4 years ago at about this time, I had just found out I was pregnant for the second time, and it would be a month of bliss before everything fell apart again with a second miscarriage. It’s funny (funny hmm, not funny haha) how these little anniversaries sneak up on us. I know the dates, but I don’t always think of them as they’re approaching — only after I fall apart a little and realize, “Oh. It’s now,” and wonder if maybe that’s why I fell apart and didn’t realize it.

Today was much better than yesterday. I woke up after only one snooze (I swear I sleepwalk across the room to my clock and get in bed without even realizing it) and managed to get breakfast in my belly before the kids got up — though I missed personal development yet again. I need to figure out a reliable time of day I can dedicate to it, because first thing in the morning really does not seem to be working for us. Tomorrow I’ll shoot for after the kids go to bed.

I got in two shakes, all my tabs, and plenty of tea, but water still needs work so that’s my focus for tomorrow. I also ate a slice of incredible homemade pumpkin pie, not pictured on instagram because at this point I’ve missed so many pics in the last 2 days that latergramming all of them seems a little silly so I’m going to do a collage and just call it, and I am not sorry. It was amazing. If you’re going to indulge in something, I strongly suggest it be homemade pumpkin pie. Fiber. It’s all about the fiber. It’s a much better choice than Halloween candy…

…which somehow made it from my mother-in-law’s house to my kitchen counter, and then from there to my desk. I’m not sure what to do with it. It seems wasteful to throw it away. I’m not giving it to the kids (and not because I’m a bad sharer, though I definitely am), and I don’t particularly need it — especially since I’d have to tell you all about it if I ate some. So someone just come break in and take only the candy so I don’t have to deal with this, okay?

This morning with the kids was uneventful. I attempted to cuddle with them for 15 minutes as I planned, but they refused. “No cuddles, Mommy. I watching Daniel Tiger.” Okay then! But they ate their breakfast and were off to their second of two days of daycare this week with nary a scream, shout, or holler. And I managed to get the kitchen in order while they were busy eating yogurt and refusing to hug me because, hey, the only time a toddler doesn’t want to hang all over you is when you have carved out dedicated snuggle time and that’s just how they roll.

I still feel a little bad-day hangover, but I’m thinking it’s mostly because I didn’t get in that brain-resetting personal development I planned. So I’m going to do a few minutes before bed and then incorporate some on the way to and from meeting my running group tomorrow morning. (Which reminds, me, y’all, see you at 7 a.m.!)

For now, off to bed.

Find me on Instagram as @FLFitMom

Day 4: Reboot in Progress

Kristen King November 5, 2014 1 Comment

#day4 of #30days of #radicalaccountability complete.

I so do not want to blog about my day. But skipping it wouldn’t exactly be radically accountable, so here I am.

My day was rough, and it was entirely, completely, and PREVENTABLY my fault. I set myself up for problems from the very beginning by overscheduling my morning, so when I then overslept marginally and the kids did what normal 2-year-olds do whenever their parents are trying to get out the door, I completely melted down and yelled at the kids for the first time in over a month. And I don’t mean I was just loud. I’m a loud girl. Loud is no big deal. I YELLED.

I didn’t just yell. I was That Mom you swear you will never be and then suddenly you’re watching yourself like it’s a movie where the girl hears a noise in the basement and goes to investigate and you’re like, “Don’t do it! Don’t go in there!” and you can’t stop her, and these words are coming out of your mouth and it doesn’t even matter what you’re saying because you are just SO MAD and they’re SO SCARED because Mommy done lost her mind. It was not a great way to start the day, and taking them to daycare after that and leaving there, with their teacher having to peel them off my legs because they were both sobbing and didn’t want me to go was pretty much the worst experience of my life.

Looking at it objectively, it’s actually been a long time since I had a morning this bad with the kids. This was an anomaly, not the rule. This is not going to be the defining moment of their childhood. But it doesn’t matter because I keep playing the tape over in my mind of my screaming at my babies because I couldn’t get it together and keep it under control and overwhelmed myself with too much to do in too little time. The fact that it had been so long actually made it worse, because they were so caught off guard. I’m having a really hard time chalking this up to “we all make mistakes” and “tomorrow will be better.”

I apologized to them before we left the house and again before I left them at school, and then we talked about it when they got home today. They’re resilient. They love me. They’re basically over it. We had an okay evening. I’m just still beating myself up over it. So now I just need to move forward, to make a plan to avoid the triggers, to keep moving ahead.

But that was the domino that I allowed to knock over the rest of my day, and it feels awful. I got my two shakes in and folded a basket and a half of laundry, but I missed 2 of my 3 sets of tablets, skipped breakfast in my race to get out of the house, and ran only a mile of my planned four. I’m coming in short on calories and water, and felt like I came up short on everything else I did today, too. I made my new running pal wait 45 minutes for me to be there for like 13 minutes of our planned time together, when I should have just canceled our date last night when my morning at work got moved around. Oh, and I’m going to be #latergramming like crazy tomorrow because today had plenty of pics and little posting amid my constant scrambling and negative self-talk today.

So here’s the plan, because tomorrow needs to go better and I need to make that happen right now:

Bed tonight the minute after I hit publish on this post
Set both alarms so I can’t sleep through or hit snooze without realizing
Do personal development FIRST THING while eating FIRST THING so I can be in the right mindset and not hungry or grumpy when the kids get up
Cuddle with the boys for 15 minutes before doing anything else with them so we can reconnect
Prioritize my to-do list for tomorrow after the kids go to school, and focus on only the MUST-DOs so I don’t have two overwhelmed days in a row
Stop negative self-talk as soon as I notice it by replacing it with positive statements as I breathe deeply
Make time for stretching and breathing breaks during the day between meetings so I can regroup and recharge

It’s easier to stick with old habits than to transition to new ones, and I really felt the powerful of old habits today. My goal is to use today’s frustration and disappointment as a reminder that this #radicalaccountability for #realchange is happening at exactly the right time for exactly the right reasons, that these are growing pains. Feel free to remind me of this if I seem to need a pick-me-up tomorrow.

Follow my #30day journey of #radicalaccountability here at Amateur Parenting and through mynutrition and lifestyle journal on Instagram. Want to join me? Add these hashtags — #30days #radicalaccountability #coachkristen #dayX – to your social media posts and let’s do this together.

Find me on Instagram as @FLFitMom

Day 3: Progress, not Perfection

Kristen King November 3, 2014 No Comments

#day3 of #radicalaccountability complete

#day3 of #30days of #radicalaccountability complete

Mondays are usually a little hectic in this house, so I’m used to that. No big deal. But the Monday after Daylight Saving Time ends (aka, the day we accidentally figure out the hard way which clocks we forgot to change), the Monday after I ran a somewhat punishing 11 miles, the Monday when I’m in back-to-back meetings all day and had to move my chiropractor appointment because forgot about Mega FitCamp and then Miles stuck his head in my chili while I was eating it, well, it was kind of a lot hectic. And I dropped some balls.

I didn’t drink enough water. I closed the day with only two of my three sets of tabs. My kid went to bed with some dried chili still in his hair because I was just too tired to deal with baths tonight. I ran out of time to do everything on my to-do list for work, even though I put in time after the kids went down this evening. Some days just get away from ya. It happens. It’s okay. It doesn’t have to be a perfect day to be a good day.

And it was a good day! I woke up on my own well ahead of everyone else and carved out some time for myself, which was precious. I got in 10 uninterrupted minutes of personal development before the kids woke up, which less than I hoped but more than I’ve gotten on a non-workout morning in months. I gave myself my scheduled rest day from workouts, which I seldom do but really need to commit to. I got to have a hilarious conversation with Jesse about the budget for the Big Ikea Trip today, by way of toddlers running back and forth between us relaying questions and answers about what we needed and how much we wanted to spend. I got about a dozen unsolicited hugs and kisses throughout the day. I got solid kid cuddle time before breakfast and before bedtime. Everyone went to bed with brushed hair and freshly trimmed nails. I made my bed. I gave myself a facial. My desk is mostly clear. I’ll be asleep before midnight. I had good talks with three friends.

Sometimes the day doesn’t go according to plan simply because you make the wrong plan. It’s not a waste.

On the docket for tomorrow:

Taking the kids to daycare solo since Jesse will be out of town
Running 4 miles at an off time with a new running buddy who just happens to be able to roll with tomorrow’s I-have-no-idea-what-time-I-can-go uncertainty
Some important meetings at work that I’m really excited about
Heading solo to Pasco/Hernando’s monthly Mega HOM while the boys’ favorite babysitter hangs out with them
Hosting a Facebook book party
2 shakes and 3 sets of tablets
At least one basket of laundry folded and put away

Follow my #30day journey of #radicalaccountability here at Amateur Parenting and through my nutrition and lifestyle journal on Instagram. Want to join me? Add these hashtags — #30days #radicalaccountability #coachkristen #dayX — to your social media posts and let’s do this together.

Find me on Instagram as @FLFitMom