Amateur Parenting

We call Ty a horse dog because he’s such a giant, being a bullmastiff and all, so of course we assumed that he’d just love real horses. Boy were we wrong.

We took him to historic downtown Fredericksburg the other day while we were running errands. First we swung by the used bookstore, where Ty sniffed the stacks of books and got a treat. Then we went to our favorite source for pet goodies, Dog Krazy on Caroline Street, where he got a homemade organic dog cake. All was well.

But then we decided to get some lunch, and that was when things went south. A horse-drawn carriage passed on the street in front of where we were enjoying our lunch in patio seating.

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The first time we took an adult Isabel to the vet, we took Jesse’s new truck. About 15 minutes down the road, she peed out the side of the carrier all over the center console. Needless to say, Jesse was not pleased. And amusingly enough (amusing, that is, if you’re Jesse and your new truck didn’t just get peed on), Isabel has done things like this before.

Now, although Isabel and Zoe haven’t done anything to my vehicle yet, Ty and Pickles have shared some nastiness in the form of obscene amounts of fawn and red fur and disgusting strings of bullmastiff slobber. To save the Civic from more damage, we picked up a cover for the back seat to replace the bed sheet that had been doing duty earlier.

It was about $30 and it took less than 10 minutes to put it in (even though we struggled a little to afix it since I have a hybrid and the back seat doesn’t fold down). It’s even the same color as my upholstery. The dogs seem to be adjusting well so far, though apparently it’s a bit slipperier than the seat itself — Pickles keeps falling on the floor when I turn or brake.

But at least she’s not leaping out the window!

If you want Ty and Pickles to freak out with excitement, here’s the key phrase: “Wanna go for a ride in the car?”

Today we went for a ride to the post office, which is always the highlight of their day. Ty jumped from the backseat right into the passenger seat, where he somehow managed to cement himself firmly, and Pickles went straight for my seat.

After wrestling them into the backseat, I headed down the road. Pickles made friends with the guy in the turn lane next to us, who rolled down his window and made kissy faces at her for a painfully long red light.

And then, the flying. We were out maybe 10, 15 minutes, but when we finally returned home, she was way excited. So excited, in fact, that when I pulled into the driveway, she leapt out my open window.

Out. The. Window.

Of a MOVING CAR.
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Remember how I said the other day that getting rid of the litter box was going well, and that we hadn’t found any surprises? Well, we found them.

I walked into the laundry room closet the other day to make sure the cats had food and to get breakfast for the dogs, and I found a massive poo and so much pee that it looked like someone had been saving it in a bucket and just splashed it in my house. Awesome.

And the best part? One puddle soaked into the bottom of a bag of dog food!

Time to revisit the no-litter-box strategy…

1. He or she jumps in your lap (or on your chest) every time you sit down with a book. (Ty and Pickles)
2. He carries your magazines around the house and digests the contents by eating them. (Ty)
3. He eats pencils that mysteriously appear on the floor of your home office. Note: The cat may be in cahoots. (Ty, with Isabel’s help)
4. He or she spreads the newspaper out and then curls up on the pile. (Ty and Pickles)
5. She gets in your lap and puts her paws on your computer keyboard as though she has something to say. (Pickles)