Incessant Barking, Sleep Deprivation, and the Best Welcome-Home Ever

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Last night I got back from 4 and a half days in San Francisco and the dogs very nearly knocked me down in the driveway because they were so happy to see me. I feel kind of guilty that they love me so much, because I think it makes Jesse feel bad. But I also kind of revel in the fact that THEY LOVE ME SO MUCH that they cease to function when I’m gone. Because I am their world. I think this bodes well for when we have kids and I’m breastfeeding and am the stay-at-home parent.

I’m not sure if he meant well or was ACTUALLY attempting to break my heart (I’d like to believe it was the former), but Jesse sent me this pic from his cell while I was away:

Ty is just my schmoopy-poopy-luvvie-buns, so I wasn’t surprised that he was depressed to find me gone for days. But honestly, I was kind of shocked that Murphy missed me. And as long as Pickles has a big dog to play with, she couldn’t care less about me if she tried. Well, that’s not true, but having a big dog around sure does help with her separation anxiety.

I’m just glad to be home, and I’m know they’re glad to have me here. This morning, I woke up covered in dogs. I was sleeping on my stomach and Ty was on the bed, where neither he nor Murphy are allowed anymore, with his head on my butt. Pickles was against my face as usual, and Murphy was across Jesse’s pillow with his chin across the top of my head.

They have followed me around all day, like they can’t stand to have me out of their sight. I’ve never felt so loved.

-Kristen

Pug Pandemonium: Pickles the Pug Shows Off Her Tricks…And How We Taught Her to Be Such a Little Genius

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Because yes, now that we can film everything that happens all day we do, here is Pickles with her limited repertoire tricks. See how she does almost everything with hand signals? That’s all me, baby. I rock at training my dog. Just her, though. The other two couldn’t care less about rolling over or even sitting. Oh well. At least I have one talented child, right?

The secret to training Pickles is threefold:

  1. Incessant repetition.
  2. Lots of patience
  3. An endless supply of treats.

No, really. But probably the best thing we have done with training her is to build on thing she does naturally. Every time she laid down, for instance, we threw a party. “Good girl, Pickles! Down! Good girl! Good down! Yay, Pickles! Down! Good girl!” Same with speaking (it helped when we barked, too, to get her started), sitting, and high-fiving. Rolling over was a little trickier because it necessitated basically yanking her legs out from under her and flipping her manually for a while, but she picked it up fast.

What should we teach her next? Leave your suggestions in the comments.

Mastiff Mayhem — Today’s Episode of “Things Murphy Destroyed or Ate”: A Framed Photo of the Dogs

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English Mastiff MurphyWell, if this isn’t irony, I don’t know what is. I came home from being gone maybe an hour, and found the house in utter disarray.

Now, before I get into the details, it’s important to point out that with as well as things have been going since Bark Busters came, we’ve started leaving the dogs loose in the house when we’re gone for short periods of time. Aside from a few garbage can incidents, it’s been mostly successful. Until yesterday.

Something felt a little…off when I walked in. Then, I saw the new phone book. Or, rather, what was left of the new phone book. We’d dropped it on the coffee table and forgotten about it, but the dogs didn’t! Parts of the alphabet were strewn all over the house, with a big shredded pile still attached to the binding. Bye-bye, phone book!

It wasn’t until I began picking up G-J that I realized that something else was in the pile. I started finding broken glass and wood splinters. And then I discovered our “family photo” amid the debris: me, Jesse, and the three dogs.

They stole a wrapped present out of a bag in the dining room, unwrapped it, and procecded to utterly destroy a framed photo of themselves. Except, the picture was unharmed, just a little slobbery. Awesome.

Even more awesome was that as I swept up the mess, I started finding huge splotches of blood all over the floor. A careful examination of everyone’s paws failed to reveal who the bleeder was. It wasn’t until I separated everyone during the cleaning efforts that I finally discovered who it was: Pickles, as evidenced by the blood spots all over the white carpet in my office, where she was confined. Did I mention that it was awesome? She is fine, by the way.

In Murphy’s defense, I don’t think he worked alone. But now that we’ve stopped calling him “the life ruiner,” we’re back to referring to him as “Destructor.”

And here are a few other things they’ve destroyed recently. My favorite was the feather pillow. It looked like a duck exploded, and the best part was the feather stuck all over Murphy’s face.