Friday, July 5, 1996, 12:04 a.m.

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(www.sass-pants.com) — I recently rediscovered a stash of childhood journals, which include some laugh-out-loud entries. Like this one.

Dear Journal,

I just got back from the Lake Tranquility 4th of July party. The fireworks were awesome!

I stayed afterward, until Daddy had finished cleaning up the display. C. and I hung out together, and she told me that T.A. (M.’s little bro) wants her to go out with him…and to prove it, he French kissed her! She’s going out with R. (don’t even ask), so she doesn’t know what to say.

Speaking of M., I saw him tonight, too. He was majorly drunk. I’m not sure how much of what he’d had, but it must have been a lot. Plus, he was smoking, and he even offered C. and me a cigarette!

I’m so worried about him. I know that we’re not close, but we’re still friendly. I mean, he has the potential to be anything or anyone, but he’s throwing it away for a can of beer and a temporary high.

I don’t know what to do! Should I call him to make sure he’s alright, or should I just forget about it?

Dazed and concerned,

Kristen

P.S. I’m single, lonely, and 14 (still never been kissed)!

Okay then! This one’s not too bad because at least I remember who all of these people are, unlike many, many entries I’ve read over the last few days. But “throwing it all away for a can of beer and a temporary high”??? I can’t say I disagree with the logic, but seriously, what 14-year-old talks like that? Apparently I did. Maybe it was all the dazedness and concern. Or maybe the loneliness or lack of kissing. Who knows…

Contents Copyright © 1996-2008 Kristen King

The Catharsis of Mourning Another’s Loss

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(www.meowbarkblog.com) — After putting it off for more than a year, I finally read the last three chapters of Marley & Me, in anticipation of the film release later this month. I don’t mean to be giving any spoilers here, but the dog dies at the end, as dogs are wont to do. And it’s not a particularly horrible death except for the horribleness that is death.

I bawled. I’m still sniffling, tears sneaking out despite my best efforts to remember that (a) it’s not MY dog and (b) it happened years ago and (c) he had a good long life for a dog anyway, with people who clearly loved him, so it’s not that sad. Those things mean NOTHING. Marley’s death is possibly the saddest thing I’ve ever read, and I’ve read a lot of sad stuff.

I think what did it for me was thinking about Murphy and what a bad dog he is even though he tries to be good. Murphy is Marley in mastiff form. And as much as he drives us crazy with his insane behavior and his eating everything that’s not nailed down (and some things that are, come to think of it: case in point, the patio steps), when he goes it will be gut-wrenching.

Continue reading →

I Hate Relish in Tuna Fish, but I Love My Husband

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(www.sass-pants.com) — I hate relish in tuna fish, but my husband loves it, and I love him. Something I’m learning about marriage (and it’s about time, since we just had our fourth anniversary in September) and relationships in general is that it’s not always about you — and any time you can make it about the other person, you should do it.

And I don’t mean that you should turn it around so it’s your partner’s fault if they call you out on something stupid you did and make the disagreement about them instead of you (which I am often guilty of and trying to work on). I’m talking about making small sacrifices because it makes the person you love happier. I’m talking about eating the stupid tuna anyway because the person you love made it for you and relish makes him happy even though it’s disgusting, and eating it with a smile and a thank-you at that. Continue reading →

I Take Back Everything I Ever Said About Bridget Jones

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(www.sass-pants.com) — What seems like a lifetime ago, I wrote a post called “Why I Could Never Be Friends With Bridget Jones.” My comments, in part:

Bridget’s on the right track when she resolves to take better care of herself by cutting back on the ciggies and the booze, but the fact that she measures her happiness by whether [her boss] is more or less interested in getting into her knickers on any given day just grates on me. …Happiness isn’t about what the scale says or how many men are trying to seduce you. It’s about feeling good physically and emotionally.”

(You can read the whole post at Lively Women, the women’s health blog I hosted for almost 2 years for b5media, which is now hosted by Peggy Rowland.)

I’ve had this remarkable revelation though: Bridget Jones is everywoman. (It’s obviously not a revelation to the publishing industry, as that’s the basis of the chick lit genre, but whatever, we’re talking about me here.) I think the reason I couldn’t stand Bridget Jones is that she exemplifies everything I hate about myself: Continue reading →

Murphy’s Super-Secret Magical Cape of Wonder

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(www.meowbarkblog.com) — Murphy may look like a tough cookie at almost 140 lbs and about 30 inches tall at his shoulders. But he’s really a big wuss. (Unless he thinks you’re going to hurt me, in which case he will take you OUT, believe me.) He’s scared of loud noises, cars, any animal bigger than him, strangers, rakes, and umbrellas. Strangely, he loves the leaf blower and tries to wrap his mouth around it every time we use it. But everything else frightens him.

When I had to rush him to the vet last week with his serious tummy rash, we took the car to get inspected afterward. Of course I couldn’t leave him in the car to eat the garage people, so we went for a walk in downtown Fredericksburg to visit our favorite store, Dog Krazy, where Murphy gorged himself on grain-free treats courtesy of Nancy Guinn, the owner. Continue reading →