Amateur Parenting – Page 34 – Just Admit It: You Have No Idea What You're Doing Either

It’s Time to Appreciate the Now

Kristen King January 31, 2009 No Comments

bikini, bathing suit, stomach, belly button, pierced, ring, abs, beach, summer, pool, suntan, sunbathe, sunbathing (www.sass-pants.com) — It’s January 31, and Target is already stocking bathing suits. The accessories section is packed with brightly colored reversible canvas hobo bags perfect for a day at the beach or an afternoon in the park. There’s ne’er a winter article of clothing to be found save for a few left-behinds in the clearance section.

Did I miss something here? It’s been winter for barely a month, and already we’re into bathing suit season? This is even more baffling than seeing Valentine’s Day-oriented advertising the day after Christmas.

What ever happened to enjoying the moment? Why are we constantly being herded forward, to something other? This goes far beyond out-of-season clothing or inappropriately timed holiday advertising — though those are certainly a big part of the equation.

When I was in middle school, I looked at high school kids and thought they knew everything. The girls who babysat for my brothers and me were so put together, so smart, so confident, so worldly. They were cool. I felt like once I got to high school, I’d know who I was, what I was doing. Then I got there, and I realized I was still clueless and so was everyone else around me. If I could just make it to college, then it would all make sense — college girls know what’s what. Of course that was a bust, too.

And then I figured once I got out of school and was firmly ensconced in my twenties, things would fall into place. Quarterlife crisis, anyone? It’s finally occurred to me that there is nothing wrong with being where I am right now and kind of figuring stuff out as I go. But how much time did I waste just waiting for the next phase to start, focusing on THEN instead of NOW?

You know that saying, “Life is what happens while you’re making other plans?” I think life is what happens while you’re waiting for life to start. Your life is happening right now. Making plans and dreaming about the future is wonderful and fun and exciting at times. But there can be too much of a good thing, and I think we’re there. We’re so focused on what will happen when we get a better job, when we have a new car, when we have time for such-and-such, when summer gets here, when next year comes, when the economy rebounds, that we overlook what is going on at the moment.

Not everything has to be about striving for more and forging ahead. There’s something to be said for contentedness. There’s something to be said for enjoying the cold on your face instead of cursing the thermometer while desperately clutching a bathing suit you can’t wear for months.

We’re in a constant state of urgency: gotta climb the ladder, gotta buy the house, gotta have the sweet ride, gotta buy the best gifts, must, must, must, go, go, go.

Whatever happened to just being?

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When the Recession Hits Home

Kristen King January 30, 2009 1 Comment

(www.sass-pants.com) — On Wednesday, I went to my favorite local coffee shop to take advantage of their free wi-fi (and delicious BLTs) because my internet had been knocked out by an ice storm. Imagine my dismay when I found that they were closed. Forever. Like, the store was totally empty and there was a sign on the door saying that due to hard economic times, they had to close their doors after seven years and thanks for all the memories.

This is a coffee shop that managed to thrive despite the fact that a Starbucks had opened in the same parking lot three years earlier. But apparently not anymore, because, well they’re gone.

When the division my husband worked for closed and he lost his job, I knew it had to do with the economy, but it didn’t really strike me. When business slowed overall but my resume work skyrocketed, I knew it had to do with the economy, but it didn’t really strike me. But when my favorite coffee shop closed, I was positively dumbfounded. I sat out front in the parking lot for about five minutes, utterly stunned, before driving to Panera, the only other place I could think of nearby with free wi-fi.

When I look back on it, I shouldn’t be that shocked that the place closed. I was often the only one there, despite their shockingly low prices. But I just got the feeling that that was business as usual for them, so I didn’t give it much thought. Until they were gone.

I regret not visiting more frequently while I had the chance, not telling more people about my “best-kept secret.” Would it have made a difference? When I look around Fredericksburg at the growing numbers of empty storefronts, I suspect the answer is no. But I wonder.

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Why Can’t I Sleep?

Kristen King January 29, 2009 5 Comments

(www.sass-pants.com) — It’s solidly the middle of the night here in Virginia and I am wide awake. Well, scratch that. When I’m vertical, I feel like I’m about to fall over from exhaustion. The moment I lie down, I feel like I could run a marathon.

Ever since my car accident, I’ve been having trouble sleeping. I just can’t get comfortable, or I wake up every hour or so for no apparent reason. I haven’t felt rested in a solid month. And tonight, I can’t stop thinking about poor Julius.

The normal things aren’t helping tonight: counting backwards from 100 in Spanish; trying to say the alphabet backwards; counting as high as I can without losing my place; trying to remember the lyrics to Disney songs in the order in which they appear in their respective movies; visualizing myself falling asleep from my toes to the top of my head; watching boring television. Nothing works.

What do you do when you can’t sleep?

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Cat Catastrophes: Farewell, Julius

Kristen King January 28, 2009 10 Comments

(www.meowbarkblog.com) — I’ve been putting off this post because I didn’t know how to write it. Julius is gone. He was missing for about a week when we took fliers to all the neighbors, searching for any news of his whereabouts. Julius had always been an adventurer, but when it got to be four, then five, then six days with no sign of him, we got worried.

On Sunday, a neighbor called and haltingly told us that she had seen a cat matching Julius’ description dead on the interstate just over the fence between our subdivision and the highway. It had been there for about a week, the same amount of time he’d been missing.

We took a very quiet, very tense ride one exit south before turning around and heading north again. Two miles before our exit, we slowed and pulled to the shoulder with our hazards flashing. About half a mile later, we saw the remains the neighbor had described, now largely unrecognizable.

Too small to be a dog. Too big to be squirrel. The right color to be Julius. Less than 1,000 feet from the property line of our closest neighbor to the highway.

It’s been almost two weeks since he disappeared now. It had to be him. We’re both devastated. I know you’re not supposed to have favorites, but he was definitely our favorite cat. Orange cats are the best, and he was the best of the best.

We miss him. It’s like a hunger I can’t satisfy, knowing he’s gone. I can’t find anything to fill the hole. Julius is the first pet that was mine I’ve lost since my cat Whispy died of feline leukemia when I was like 10. When my mom’s dog, Rocky, died, it sucked, but it wasn’t like this. I don’t know how to mourn a pet. I don’t want to have to learn.

Dog Disasters — Today’s Episode of “Things the Dogs Destroyed or Ate”: A 2.5-lb Box of Chocolates

Kristen King January 8, 2009 No Comments

(www.meowbarkblog.com) — I got a frantic call from my husband today while I was pulling into the chiropractor’s parking lot about 35 minutes from our house. (I need adjustments 3x/week for the next 4 weeks thanks to my recent car accident.)

“The alarm is going off at the house!”

“Well, I’m at the doctor and I won’t be home for over half an hour if leave now, so…”

“Okay, I’ll tell them to send the police.”

Dave,* who’s been living with us for a few months while waiting for his wife to get a transfer from her job 3 hours from HIS new job, beat me home and called Jesse with the news: “The dogs ate that big box of chocolate. I think it set off the alarm when they were scraping the plastic across the floor.”

Oh, great. My dogs, who just a few days earlier, downed 10 lbs of flour, just ate 2.5 lbs of chocolate. Does it get any better?

Fortunately for all of us, it wasn’t very good-quality chocolate, so the amount of cocoa consumed even if one dog had eaten the whole thing alone would have been minimal. So far, everyone seems just fine. Even Pickles, who we learned from the projectile vomiting post-flour, tends to have a more sensitive stomach than the other dogs. Awesome. What else can they POSSIBLY get into?

Not his real name.

(image: SXC.hu)