Foodie Friday: Why We’ve Decided to Clean Out the Cabinets

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We’ve been eating cleaner for months, but now we’re really ready to kick it into high gear with really clean eating. Over the next month, we’ll be cleaning out the pantry to get rid of processed flour and dyes, and replacing the products we ditch with whole grain, dye-free alternatives.

We’ve been moving in a healthier direction for months — Daddy-in-Training and I have lost over 60 lbs combined since we started using Herbalife products in April. As you saw from our meal plan, most of our food is pretty healthy.

But since we moved here in December, the kids have been sick nonstop. Every time something goes around, they get it. Which makes no sense because we all eat healthy and wash our hands and take vitamins and supplements that naturally boost the immune system. We get enough sleep. We drink enough water. We avoid sick people. We do pretty much everything right, and still it doesn’t matter. Continue reading →

In Which I Wonder Whether I Should Even Bother Trying to Leave the House with Twin Toddlers Ever Again

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Please don’t make me leave the house with the kids again. Please don’t make me leave the house with the kids again. Please don’t make me leave the house with the kids again.

I am what one might call a sociable introvert. I do like people and I do enjoy having friends and going out and doing things, but I’d be happiest if I could limit all interaction to email, text message, and Facebook, with the occasional phone call. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about things like tone of voice, pace of conversation, awkward silences, eye contact (I feel like I appear either to be having a seizure or to be a laser-focused psycho), and what the heck I’m supposed to do with my hands — none of which I have ever mastered and all of which give me serious agita.

It’s hard enough to get out the door on my own when I am endlessly reviewing everything that may or may not have gone wrong last time I attended a social engagement of any type, trying not to forget anything, trying to peel two kids off my legs, and trying to avoid leaving the house in something marked with food, puke, pee, or dog hair.

Now throw two spirited, strong-willed, and extremely fast toddlers into the mix. Toddlers I have to take with me. Toddlers who require an entire separate bag (or two) of CRAP, any of which, if I am caught without it, creates a crisis of epic proportions. The day I left the house for a five-minute errand with no diaper bag was the day Emmett projectile vomited all over himself and and his car seat and needed to be stripped completely naked in a stranger’s driveway and cleaned off with McDonald’s napkins that have been in the glove box for 2 years and then had to ride home in his barfy seat wearing a vomit-covered cloth diaper and nothing else. It’s even worse if I forget someone’s sippy cup or don’t bring enough “mee-nah” (banana).

No matter what I do, how much I prepare in advance, or how eager I am to get wherever I’m going, by the time I finally get out the door I don’t even want to go anymore. Not to mention the fact that I’m usually so late at that point that anyone I’m trying to do stuff with is probably already done and on their way home. Today, I got up early, had breakfast planned and clothes laid out, and still left 45 minutes late because 5 minutes before we were going to get in the car: Continue reading →

Mommy’s Friday Fun with Health Insurance Claims

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Photo Credit: Katia Gelman

I am so grateful that I have an awesome job with awesome benefits. I would be even more grateful, however, if any provider I ever saw actually knew how to bill my insurance for ANYTHING. Since that seems beyond anyone’s grasp, I often have phone calls like the one I just finished.

Me: Hello there. I just got a collection notice for an ER visit I had in March? It looks like my insurance never got billed. I’d like to help you resubmit the claim.

Guy: Okay, let’s figure out what happened. Kristen King?

Me: Yup, that’s me.

Guy: Blue Cross Blue Shield?

Me: Yup. Of Massachusetts.

Guy: And is your ID number [totally not my ID number]?

Me: Um, no, not even close.

Guy: [[chuckles]] Well, I guess that’s why it said they couldn’t find you in the system.

Me: That would probably do it.

Guy: Okay, we can take care of that. I’m not sure why it went to collections though.

Me: I’m guessing it’s because I didn’t pay the bill.

Guy: [[brief silence]] Your attitude is amazing. Most people freak out. I love you.

Me: Ha. Thank you. It said you were submitting it to my insurance and I know I’m not responsible for this amount. So…can we get this taken care of?

Guy: No problem. I’ll resubmit it right now now that we have the correct information. Sorry about that. Have an awesome day.

I think I just got off the phone with the only medical billing specialist in history who actually likes his job. If they were all this quick and easy, and entertaining, maybe I wouldn’t mind as much!

Obviously I prefer having health insurance to having no health insurance. But sometimes I feel like managing it is a full-time job. Is it just me?

Are We Too Busy to Improve?

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Are we too busy to improve? That’s the subject line of an email I got at work today. It had nothing to do with parenting, but everything to do with everything if you ask me. The focus was on continuously improving business operations amid keeping the lights on and how hard that is. It didn’t even really apply to me. But I couldn’t stop reading that subject line over and over again. Are we too busy to improve? Are we too busy with every day life to do better, to do more, to even make goals much less work toward them?

I have had a few long weeks lately, where different parts of my life converged at all needed a higher-than-usual level of attention and engagement at the same time, leaving me with little to spare in terms of energy, focus, motivation, and empathy. I usually do a pretty good job of zooming in on the joys in my life, of trying to memorize the beautiful little moments in each day. But it’s been more of a challenge than usual for a little while now. And as things ease up, I can see this in retrospect. While I was going through the most overwhelming part, though, I couldn’t see that. All I saw was exhaustion. All I saw was the to-do list that wouldn’t end. All I saw was the clock zooming forward while one kid pitched a fit and the other insisted on putting both legs in the same leg of his shorts three times in a row before he would let me do it for him and oh-my-god-we’re-going-t0-miss-the-daycare-dropoff-deadline. All I saw was the grind. All I saw was busy-ness. Continue reading →

Advice for Moms Feeling Totally Overwhelmed

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Sometimes you just need to scream it out.

A fellow multiple mom one of my Facebook groups posted today  about feeling frustrated with her 3.5-year-olds and feeling like she needs a break. I could read the guilt in her post as clear as if “GUILT” had been every other word she wrote. The only thing worse than feeling like you want to throttle your kids is feeling like there’s something wrong with you for being frustrated and not “loving every minute” like so many other liars moms claim to. Here’s what I said to her:

No judgement here! Parenting is HARD, and parenting multiples is even harder. When they’re good they’re very good, but when they’re bad THEY OUTNUMBER YOU AND IT TOTALLY BLOWS. You are having a very normal response to a very abnormal and overwhelming circumstance. Nothing wrong with you! It’s hard to prepare for this, and even if you’re prepared it’s still hard to deal with it. Anything you can do to get a break is a good idea. Put them in front of the TV with a snack and lock yourself in the bathroom with a cup of coffee for 10 minutes. Cram them into the stroller and grab your iPod and turn the volume up loud enough that you can’t hear them while you powerwalk it out. Go in your room and close the door and beat the crap out of your pillows and mattress (note: it’s okay to visualize the kids’ faces from time to time as you strangle your pillow ;]).

I find it useful to talk to other moms with kids the same age as my kids (or slightly older), to vent to my bestie via text, and to pick up books from the library or buy them used on Amazon about whatever thing I am struggling with. Right now it’s Happiest Toddler On the Block and something about how to make sure you don’t murder your “spirited child” before he starts school and then he’s someone else’s problem for 8 hours a day. 

I love my kids. I love being a mom. I do not love everything about my kids or everything about being a mom. I do NOT “love every moment of it.” Anyone who says they do is a liar or delusional. That’s my $.02.  Hang in there. We are here any time you need support and encouragement. And you are NOT alone.
What would you say to a friend who’s feeling overwhelmed and frustrated? How do you manage those times? Share your best advice in the comments.